Forgiveness is an act of obedience not an act of feeling. You don't have to feel like forgiving someone in order to forgive them. You just need to do it and then the feelings will often follow.
As a side not, be willing to give and receive forgiveness.
As I wrestle with the issue of time management and balancing my time between serving and being with my family I wonder if it is possible to spend too much time with family? If I take into consideration the fact that I have a 6 month old and a three year old at home and that there are no extended family members nearby, is it possible that I am currently at a stage in life where it is appropriate to not be serving God. Or, perhaps to make is sound less drastic, that the best way for me to serve God right now is for me to be spending more time with my family, even to the exclusion of serving others and using my gifts to their full capacity.
I am not at all confident of the answer. If the answer is to not serve God outside at the moment when would this phase end? I am confident that I should end but how does one determine when. Surely there is going to clamoring for my time by my family for many (perhaps 12) years yet and but I am confident that it would not be acceptable to not serve for outside the home for that long.
By the way, I am curious what percentage of American wives believe their husbands spend enough time at home?
About two weeks ago I felt like God has been virtually yelling at me to scrutinize his Lordship in my life. Unfortunately, the message to examine my life has been perfectly clear but the examination has not yielded any clear insight (don't you hate it when that happens.)
The issue:
How does Jesus' Lordship play out in my life when it comes to my time?
When I think of the Lordship of Christ in my life I think of the following:
Putting Christ above all else in my life
Being obedient to Christ in every way
Submitting all areas of my life to His scrutiny
Constantly evaluating my life to find ways I need to change to be more like Him
Living as Jesus would if he were Mark Michaelis in the 21st century (always asking what would Jesus do and the responding accordingly.)
Spending my time appropriately balancing my life such that I am serving God
Living my life to the glory of God
Lifestyle worship of God
Making my life a living sacrifice for Christ
Okay... enough of the vision... now what does that mean? As I consider the issue of Lordship and my time, three main considerations have arisen.
Firstly, Elisabeth is quite disappointed about my decision not to cancel my trip up Mt. Rainier. Since George canceled because of an injury she believes that there is little purpose in me going as I will not nearly have the quality time with my brother because there are three people going rather than four (I have since provided an explanation and she is now very graciously understanding even if she doesn't like it).
Secondly, through the current section of the Purpose Driven Life book I have become clearly convicted that I am not serving God, that I am not using the gifts that God has given me for his glory.
Lastly, through some Willow Creek messages I have been challenged with the atrocity of the excuse that the reason I am not living for Christ more is because I am simply too busy, that business is the main obstacle in my relationship with Jesus.
So, now what? I don't believe the response is as obvious as it might seem...or at least I would like to be given the grace to rationalize and wrestle on the issue for a little while:
My level of service in the church is currently zero. I am simply not doing anything and really, I haven't done anything of significance since moving to Spokane. For the first year this was expected as Elisabeth and I agreed that during our first year in Spokane I would not take on any additional obligations and instead focus on family alone. That year is now over but I have still not begun to serve God in any way. Several opportunities have come along such as leading a small group or playing guitar for worship but Elisabeth is still not very supportive of me doing these things and this stance is only stronger with all the travel that I have had this year. However, the bottom line is that my serving God is zero and he has gifted me (as he has everyone) for a lot more than that.
It is no surprise that may work takes up the biggest portion of my time. This is probably true for the vast majority of people that work full-time. What is less prevalent is the fact that my work does require some travel. Most recently this can more accurately be defined as too much travel. This is almost certainly the key issue for Elisabeth and the month of June is especially bad.
The next issue relates to my personal time doing exercise and short trips unrelated to work. This includes being gone for four days for the Odyssey Adventure Race and the up coming six day trip up Mount Rainier. The vast majority of my exercise is during the hours when I am at work. During lunch I attempt to run three days a week and play volleyball the other two. On weekends during the winter I had an indoor soccer game but I generally only went to the games that were late at night so that I was around for the kids. So, there is no doubt that I am doing some stuff that is not family, work or church related. In fact, it is pretty much self related since I am not really doing it for any other reason than trying to stay in shape and because I enjoy it. (Another reason is because I value the time hanging out with non-Christians but even if this wasn't the case I would still exercise so it is less relevant.) The question is how much of what I will call self time is appropriate? Without at least some time to myself like this I am pretty confident that I would be grouchy and unpleasant to be around. There is no doubt that I need this time to stay in shape and that at least to some degree staying in shape relates to treating my body as as temple (1 Corinthians 6:19). Although I certainly enjoy adventure racing I believe my races are rare enough to be a reasonable. The fact of the matter is, however, without a race ahead of me I wouldn't run. The race provides just enough motivation to get me out there training. How much is too much when it comes to exercise?
In summary:
I am not serving enough.
I am traveling way to much up through the end of June.
I need personal time for things like exercise and some time or race is required for me to be motivated enough to run.
My family wants more of me.
but (aside from the travel) I am not sure exactly how and what to adjust, just that I need to make adjustments.
Why Can't Application User Data be Stored in My DocumentsProfilesApplication Data
Google Search It
After recently re-installing my laptop I tried to move the location of Radio. This was an extremely frustrating experience, however. I went to the Files/Folders and updated the location of my www folder. Unfortunately, I didn't quite have the path correct and as a result everything stopped working. The worst thing about this was that I could no longer access the Files/Folders location to correct the path. Yuck! Furthermore, I couldn't move the data to the specified path because the issue was that I was missing a trailing backslash. Uggggg! I tried searching the Radio Userland folder for where the path was stored but I couldn't find it anywhere. To get things working again I had to restore an old copy of the entire Radio Userland folder.
As I continued to look in to this issue it occurs to me that there is a significant amount of user configuration data that is stored in the Radio Userland program folder, not just the www folder. As a result if two people share the same computer they actually have to have separate instances of the entire program. This is just silly. Why can't user configuration data be stored in the user profile location (My DocumentsProfilesApplication Data). Even the registry would be better than the current choice.
