While on the plain to England I noticed a mother and teenage daughter reading a magazine together and talking. I was struck by the apparent intimacy between them. I remember seeing similar close friendships between mothers and daughters in other places. In fact, Elisabeth's mom seems to have a similar relationship to both of her daughters.
As I think about this type of friendship, however, I am struck by the fact that I don't recall seeing the same type of intimacy between father and son. Sure it exists, but it seems to be more rare. Father and son relationships more commonly reflect shared activities (fishing, sports, games and in my case computers) but not so much the shared friendship that seems to be more prevalent amongst woman. Now it is clear to me that men are generally a lot more activity oriented anyway, they are a lot more focused on what you do together. However, I believe that with care and intention activities can include intimate conversation as long as one takes the risk and makes the effort. As I begin raising my own son I am struck with the need to be intentional in my conversations with him. Certainly we would do things together but that also we would share thoughts and feelings about life not just do things together. Obviously this is a lesson that applies to all relationships (including my marriage) but today I was struck by the need to be sure it occurs with Benjamin.
At the same time I should mention the importance of saying "I love you" to my son and showing him lots of affection. Elisabeth has been a great example to me in this case and although I confess it was slightly unnatural to say it as often as she does, I am learning to do so. Bill Hybels talks about ending every conversation with his son by saying, "I love you" and his son echoing back with the same response. As Benjamin begins to say the same words I realize even more what a tremendous blessing he is. (It reminds me somewhat of why God must appreciate our worship.)
9:14:29 PM
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